I write marketing emails that say “remember when email was fun?”
I write podcast ads and housekeeping copy that hosts are excited to read and listeners don’t want to skip.
Here’s a sample of some of my favorite ad scripts I wrote for Crooked hosts to promote Crooked Coffee. I made sure each was conversational and easy to riff on while providing all the important information to listeners.
Pre-Tease Housekeeping
To build excitement before announcing the brand, I wrote short, funny, riffable scripts for the hosts of Crooked’s shows to read from.
Pod Save America
JF: Next up, our marketing team just told us we’re supposed to tease something really big, so I guess this is us teasing it.
TV: Yeah, I’m not sure what we can say about it, but we’ve been working on it for over a year and we know you guys will love it.
JL: Right. Definitely don’t want to give too much away. [JL slurps coffee]
TV: Okay, that’s definitely not allowed. Get that mug out of here.
JL: What? I’m just drinking my normal morning beverage in a normal way. Nothing weird about that.
What A Day / Pod Save The World / Lovett Or Leave It
-We can’t give too much away right now, but Crooked has something big coming soon. We’re not allowed to reveal what it is yet, but it’s been in the works for over a year and it’s something pretty much everyone at Crooked loves.
-Dogs? Voting rights bills? Spelling “Jon” without an “h?” [hosts can riff here if they want]
-I’ll give you a hint: it’s delicious.
-So…not a voting rights bill.
-Not quite. Just stay tuned, you’ll be the first to know when we announce it.
Housekeeping Copy For Week Of Announcement
For the week of the product announcement, I wrote custom housekeeping copy for four of Crooked’s top podcasts. Each was tailored to fit that specific show’s hosts and audience while still conveying the same central information.
Pod Save America:
JF: Hey, we have some huge news!
JL: Wait, can I be the one to announce it?
JF: I mean, I guess. We all worked on it.
JL: I feel like I never get to announce stuff. It’s actually something I’m working through with my therapist.
JF: You can announce things whenever you want, buddy!
JL: Okay. Here goes…Crooked Coffee! Coming June 21st! How’d I do?
JF: Pretty good, you might just want to give a little more information?
TV: Guys, I’m sorry to jump in here but you’re both so bad at making announcements. I’m just gonna do it, okay? We’re so excited to be launching Crooked Coffee, coming June 21st. It’s premium coffee, and it is delicious. We worked hard to land the perfect blends and it’s honestly fancy-coffee-shop-level good. It’s also ethically sourced, comes in recyclable packaging, and a portion of the proceeds from every order are going to Register Her to help register and activate women voters across the country. You are the very first to know about it—
JL: Other than me. I knew about it. I’m amazing at keeping secrets.
TV: Right. So head to crooked.com/coffee to sign up for early access. We’ll put the link in the show notes.
JF: God, he’s good.
What A Day:
-Okay, we have some huge news. On June 21st, Crooked is launching Crooked Coffee! It’s delicious, premium, ethically-sourced coffee in recyclable packaging, and a portion of the proceeds are being donated to Register Her to help register and activate women voters across the country.
-That all sounds amazing, but honestly you had me at “coffee.” I’m in.
-Wait, I haven’t even gotten to the most exciting part. The name of the coffee? What A Morning.
-What A Morning? Like What A Day but more breakfast-y? Okay, we’re muses. We’re coffee muses.
-Exactly. So of course we had to tell our WAD Squad first. You guys can sign up to get early access at crooked.com/coffee. We’ll put the link in the show notes.
Lovett Or Leave It:
-Huge news! We just announced that on June 21st Crooked is launching Crooked Coffee.
-This is something we’ve all been working on for a really long time and we’re so excited to finally get to share it with you. And by “we” I do mean the Crooked staff as well as some professionals who know a lot about coffee. I’m not out there roasting beans. I have shit to do. I need to spend three hours per day telling Pundit she’s perfect.
-I did taste the coffee though and it is very good. I should know—I live in Los Angeles, where people take coffee more seriously than water shortages.
-You can sign up to get early access at crooked.com/coffee. We’ll put the link in the show notes.
Pod Save The World:
-Let’s change it up and talk about happy world news: we just announced Crooked Coffee is launching on June 21st.
-Worldos, this coffee has been in the works for a long time and we’re so excited that you finally get to try it. I’ve been drinking it and I absolutely love it. This stuff has been getting me through the day lately.
-I know our listeners are all about the details, so I want to let you know this coffee is ethically-sourced, comes in recyclable packaging, and we’re donating a portion of the proceeds to Register Her to help register and activate women voters across the country.
-You guys can sign up to get early access at crooked.com/coffee. We’ll put the link in the show notes.
House Ads After Announcement
To continue building interest before launch, I wrote ads for Crooked’s top two podcasts, making sure each was unique and fun for the hosts to riff on.
What A Day:
-Okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I’m a big fan of coffee. I mean, I got out of bed and now I’m saying words. That doesn’t just happen. That’s why I’m so excited that Crooked is launching Crooked Coffee. It’s delicious, premium coffee that’s ethically sourced and sustainably packaged, and it’s been in the works for over a year.
-Oh yeah, it’s taken all my willpower to not spill the beans. Get it?
-Moving right along. WAD Squad, Crooked Coffee is coming June 21st and you can be the first to get it if you go to crooked.com/coffee and sign up for early access.
Pod Save America:
JL: You know how everyday you wake, look at your phone and think, “this seems like something an 8th grader who just read 1984 would write?”
JF: Is there something you need to talk about, bud?
JL: Is that not relatable? Anyway, for me, the thing that makes mornings a little less chaotic-evil is coffee.
TV: Okay, that is relatable.
JL: Specifically, it’s coffee made by my absolute favorite company: Crooked. Guys, we are finally launching Crooked Coffee.
TV: I’m so excited. We’ve been working on this for over a year, and this coffee is so delicious. Plus, it’s ethically sourced and sustainably packaged. We know you’re gonna love it.
JF: Just go to crooked.com/coffee to sign up for early access so that you can be the first to get it when it launches on June 21st.
I write website copy that feels like a conversation.
I write product descriptions that don’t make your eyes glaze over.
I write packaging copy you won’t want to throw away.
I wrote packaging copy for Crooked Coffee. Here’s one example, for their Cold Brewer.
PRODUCT NAME:
The Cold Brewer
COPY ON OUTSIDE OF PACKAGE:
Open up and get ready for the only good kind of bottle service (quietly enjoying a bottle of cold brew coffee from the comfort of your home). All you need is this bottle, some coffee, and a can-brew attitude.
COPY INSIDE PACKAGE:
How to make cold brewed coffee (for people who haven’t had their coffee yet):
Step 1: Put 50-55g (a bit more than half the strainer) of medium to coarse ground coffee in the strainer.
Step 2: Set the upper strainer to the bottom strainer and twist to lock.
Step 3: Attach the strainer to the top silicone lid by twisting to secure in place with the stopper removed.
Step 4: Gently pour in 22-24 oz of filtered water through the spout into the strainer or until the coffee is submerged.
Step 5: Push the stopper in, swirl gently, and allow the coffee and water to mix. Let the coffee brew in the fridge for 14-16 hours, or the length of all Lovett’s rants combined.
Step 6: Unplug the stopper and enjoy your cold brew coffee while patting yourself on the back for following all those steps.
Step 7: Sorry, we can’t tell you what to do after that. Maybe go for a walk or something?